Joke

[mrbaztard]

What do the South African football team call there wives and girlfriends

Golliwags*cheers*

[mrbaztard]

Paddy goes to the bank to inquire about a loan. The teller tells him its the loan arrangers day off. OK says Paddy in that case can I speak to Tonto?:D

[last man standing]

What do the South African football team call there wives and girlfriends

Golliwags*cheers*

be carefull mr baztard if nasty nick get's to see this joke he will put you on suspention. for insulting new bnp member's.

[tyrone]

be carefull mr baztard if nasty nick get's to see this joke he will put you on suspention. for insulting new bnp member's.

At least mr baz has his own sense of humour.Personally i would rather listen to ben elton and the man from aunty and wait for Millwall to win the cup.

[The Ginger one]

At least mr baz has his own sense of humour.Personally i would rather listen to ben elton and the man from aunty and wait for Millwall to win the cup.

Ben "the red " Elton, you must be joking.

[tyrone]

Ben "the red " Elton, you must be joking.

I prefer to watch this one ginger one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mr6ITN6YZM

[mrbaztard]

What have blackies and bicycles got in common?

They both only work with chains:D

[mrbaztard]

:DAparantly it is rough in South Africa

My mate Arnold is out there watching the world cup he had his watch snatched by a blackie.

His mate gave chase shouting oii thats Arnolds Quartz ya nig*er:D

[mrbaztard]

It was the postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, tomatoes, sausage, mushroom, fried bread and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a five pound note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the fiver for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a fiver."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[mrbaztard]

What is orange and black and looks good on a muslim?





A Bengal Tiger:D

[mrbaztard]

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch less knickers in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs . . . enough times till her husband says...
"Are you wearing crotch less knickers?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God for that. . . I thought you were sitting on the cat.

Services will be held Saturday, 2pm, local cemetery for the husband:D:D

[mrbaztard]

Well it has been 3 years since the smoking ban and 10000 pubs have closed

Why cant we ban curry and bananas?

[marisa]

What is orange and black and looks good on a muslim?





A Bengal Tiger:D

I like that one.
:)

[Death Penny]

http://www.resistor.talktalk.net/xanandu/home300.htm

Courtesy of the Wizard of Oz . ;)
*krofl**krofl**krofl*

[mrbaztard]

I have killed 8 muslim women in last 5 days by running over them

It is safe to say I am Birminghams first drive through burka king:D

[Death Penny]

Have you noticed that when a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harrassment ? , but when a woman talks dirty to a man it's £1.50 a minute. :p

:D:D:D

[Death Penny]

Anyway , where was I ? , oh I know , the first time I met a poofter was in a bar in Wolverhampton , as far as I remember it was called " The Clock " I'd just finished a hard days graft and was dying for a drink and it was near the digs , went in up to the bar to get a drink when some leather cladded tail gunner aproached me and said " would you like a drink handsome " SOD OFF , cor blimey, well it took me by surprise , well how was I to know ? , I dropped my wallet but I can tell you now I kicked it all the way to the car park before I bent down to pick it up , I don't trust them bastards .

*krofl**krofl**krofl**krofl*

[mrbaztard]

What do you call the first Pakistani off the boat?

Amhere.

Second off boat?

Amhere Azwell.

Third

Amhere Azwell Azim:D

[mrbaztard]

I will not be posting for while the police are after me for stealing a truck full of swimming inflatables so I need to LILO for a while:D

[mrbaztard]

I have opened a new business today we specialize in female to male sex changes

I have called it GASHCONVERTERS*cheers*

[mrbaztard]

A few days back I saw a paki fall in the river he was struggling to swim and looked a goner

So being the kind hearted mature citizen that I am I decided to let the authorities know what was happening

It has been 3 days now and they have not turned up I am starting to think it was a waste of a second class stamp*cheers*

[mrbaztard]

On my sons birthday I bought him an Ipod

On my daughters birthday I bought her an Iphone

On my birthday the wife got me on of those new Ipads

So in keeping with the theme on her birthday I bought her a new IRon

That is when the trouble started with the miserable cow

[mrbaztard]

Just been on google earth and for some reason the satiliette image of pakistan reminds me of my breakfast

A bowl of coco pops;)

[mrbaztard]

The Pakistan floods are proof that if you do not wash God will intervene

[mrbaztard]

Apple have announced they have developed a new microchip that plays music when implanted into a womens breast

It is called the I-tit and costs 400 quid

It is described as a break through for women as they are always complaining that men just stare at the breasts and dont listen to them:D

[Death Penny]

There was a young lady named Pat
Who had triplets Tit , Tat and Nat
The breading was swell
but the feeding was hell
Cos she didn't have no tit for Tat

:D:D:D:D

[Death Penny]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Blades of grass
Grew out of his arse
And his balls were all covered in weeds

:D:D:D:D

[Moxy Million]

I was invited to attend a ceilidh by my local Caledonian Society. There came a moment in the evening's proceedings where the guests at the proceedings were invited to compose a risqué Limerick.

Our 'table' won the prize for the filthiest Limerick that not only took a swipe at Hitler's mono-orchidal disposition, the quintessential sadness of fruit moustaches. and but also got in a reference to genitalia and a fart joke to boot.

Och aye! bring on the haggis and a wee deoch an doris.

[Death Penny]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwZ15KGlk0Y&feature=related